Thursday, July 28, 2011

Regaining Trust

What does it look like when we lose someone’s trust?
Have you ever ‘wounded’ anyone so deeply
that you lose them for good?
Maybe you had this happen to you;
a person close to you
has done something that hurts deeply
and the pain has yet to go away.
Perhaps it will never disappear,
and you are left with gnawing suspicion and fear.

Will this feeling invade other relationships?

Or could an anxiety develop
that costs you freedom
until you lock yourself away for safety
to protect yourself from future harm.

How do you learn to trust again?

This week I filled out a ‘Travel Application’
so I can visit family in California.
It is the states permission for me to leave.

More than a request form,
it is still a sign that I have yet to regain complete trust.
I am not upset about it.
Three more months, and I can leave when I want
without waiting for approval first.
Then in February, my probation ends,
And I can re-enter prison to encourage others.

The people who knew me before the accident
(read about it Here)
knew immediately that it was a bad mistake
but not a reason to lose their trust in me.
However, the state knew differently,
and it has taken time to re-gain their trust in me.
But here is the point:
even in the midst of my prison sentence
those closest knew
that my identity is in Christ,
and that God could yet be glorified
in the situation I faced.

I was reminded of that today
when I laughed about making a t-shirt
that would say across it:
I am a Criminal,
and a Sinner,
but God...
except that is not who I am.
I am a wholly loved,
completely forgiven,
and totally accepted
child of the Most-High God!

Trust: choosing to believe the best about others.

However, trust comes at a price
it takes time, and some risk,
and it begins with forgiveness.

Perhaps you need to ask for it,
or let go and release the hand-grip
that holds fear and anger so tightly.
Failing to forgive limits us,
but giving it allows healing to begin
and lets love in to grow anew.

Regaining trust..
is worth all the effort!


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