Thursday, September 6, 2012

New Post: “To Connect with People... be completely present.”

In our current age of fast times;
fast internet, fast entertainment, fast communications,
we have lost the presence of being completely available.

Whether we reach others by “tweet”, text, SMS, email, or “facebook”,
we have abbreviated our personal connections
to what is most convenient, easy, and free from pain.
But is this the best way to relate with others?

Do we grow more when we have “problem free” relationships?
Or do we learn more about one another when we struggle together?
When we get real and authentic our innermost struggles??

One area of my life I often dont like to discuss
is the times of violence I witnessed while I was in prison.
However, I can ‘sanitize’ the worst parts
and still allow others to connect with me through my struggles.

We long to connect with others humans.
To be known by a few people- for who we truly are deep inside.
Yet how does this happen if we never take a risk?

Your emotional pain is real. Your difficulties are real.
Even if someone hasnt had the same experiences themselves,
they will feel closer to you when you share.
And here is the catch... we must listen to them in return.
Be completely there, paying attention to what is said.
No checking your watch or phone.
No interruptions.
Just a real moment in time where two people share together.

Perhaps this is why we allow distractions to enter our time with others.
We dont want to get real.
We want to avoid the difficult conversations.
We want to stay shallow because we fear someone may judge us,
or we may feel uncomfortable with what they tell us.

So, can we be fulfilled this way?
Maybe this is why so many of us feel disconnected and alone.
We are afraid to be personal.
But then, is that how we truly want to live?
By never being truly known by others,
and never really knowing another person.

I dont want to live this way....
and I hope you will agree this is unsatisfying as well.

So what do we do?
Take a chance and reach out...
for some undistracted time with another person this week!

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