Saturday, June 1, 2013
New Blog Post: “Unmet Expectations, Offending People, and The Last Day of Your Life”
Has your need to be “right” become a poison to others?
When things dont work the way I think they should...
I often let other people know.
But you know what often happens?
They dont care.
Sometimes they do,
like when something is broken and doesnt work properly,
and that person has direct responsibility and authority to correct it.
But most often, people dont care.
We can ask “Why”, as if they should care about our interests,
but most times they dont,
and we only isolate ourselves from one another
by trying to force the issue.
What happens when we force it?
People become unsettled, then uncomfortable, perhaps irate,
and then they are often offended by us,
as if we have pointed out something inherently wrong with them.
We can spend the time trying to convince others
why our point of view is right and correct,
but you know what often happens?
We push others in the wrong direction.
We make people so uncomfortable that -
they do the opposite of what we desire.
And we are left alone to resolve whatever issue have arisen.
Has someone close to you done something you dislike?
Feel free to tell them, but...
unless you are willing to move on and forgive,
the burden of guilt may become too great for them,
and you are left holding the remnants of that relationship on your own.
Why do many criminals become repeat offenders?
Because we constantly remind them of their faults.
Why do children resent parents?
Because they are corrected over and over again, until...
they want nothing from you - except distance.
Your unmet expectations serve to do one thing above all:
it lets other people know you cannot accept them for who they are.
In between the words we use,
we tell people their “issues” are too much for us,
and we cannot let go without reminding them, again...
of the problem we cannot forgive or forget.
Here is the big question you must ask yourself:
Can you learn to enjoy
being completely dependent on God?
Somebody fails to do their part, and you suffer the consequences.
Can you trust God that this set-back is temporary?
Will you let go of you “right” to correct other people?
Truth tells people where they have fallen down,
but Grace tells people they are still valuable and loved.
If you are unable to do both,
then can you focus on the one which builds other up,
rather than tearing them down?
Here is the final point of this post:
One the last day of your life, who do you most want near you?
Because if we are constantly correcting people,
those wont be the sames ones who show up at our end.
Its the ones you show the most love and grace,
who want to be by your side at your end.
Do you doubt me? Fine.
But if you take that risk, it may be to your own sad disappointment,
that you have effectively corrected everyone about their faults,and no one wants to you support your darkest hours alone.