Sunday, March 16, 2014

New Post: "Why I Go ‘Dark’ in my Writing"

There was a time when I wrote here every week.
Then, every-other week.
For a time I even wrote every day,
posting what I had 5-days a week.

Do you know what the end result is?
I spent alot of time in my own head,
trying to make sense of life from what I read, heard,
and those I spend life with in community.
And now?
I often go dark.

There are still days when I post thoughts on Twitter.
But, weeks at a time I cannot put enough words down
to form an entire paragraph,
much less a complete set of thoughts.

And why is this?
Partly, because I have too little time for others.

The schedule I kep with my family has me up early,
at 4:30am, Monday thru Friday.
And I go to bed early as well: 8:30pm during the week.
Then, I like to stay up late on weekends, and sleep in,
making ‘the most of my time’ with my wife and kids.
There is nothing wrong with this, except…
I begin to believe I have nothing to offer because I am so focused.

The other thing that happens is… I begin to believe a lie.

The lie is- I have things figured out well enough,
that I dont need to spend time in introspection.

The truth is, I still spend time evaluating, questioning, and thinking,
everyday about the life God has given me, but...
I dont spend the time to dig into any thoughts.
None.
And that is where the lie takes hold;
satan telling me I dont need to dig-in any further.

Perhaps that is why we like movies so much;
because they tell us what thoughts are important, and
that the answers have already been discovered by someone else,
leaving us with the impression that we could find nothing new.

I am so glad that CS Lewis didnt ‘give-up’ writing,
thinking that the behemoths of intellectual thoughts
had it all figured out before he came along.

And I am so glad to realize that in my amazement,
I will never be able to figure out all that God is on my own.
That even if all the people who have ever lived could put their ideas together,
we would still likely miss the most important parts of God,
and His purpose for our lives.

So, I will work more diligently to write regularly, and…
even if not,
I will still reach out to others in person,
to help them know they are not alone in their frustration of this world.

Thank God we are not meant to be here forever!

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