Saturday, July 19, 2014

New Post: “Anger Betrays Me”

Do you have an anger problem?
I do.

Yet for a long time, I felt anger was not an issue for me.
But now…
it is like a poisonous infection that spreads
to completely cover the skin;
the primary initial reaction is to scratch it,
but that only makes it worse.
until it seems this ‘disease’ will grow to consume my thoughts.

And then I become like a mindless 'zombie':
thoughts of anything useful are devoured,
until I am fueled solely by anger,
numb to the damage I cause,
even though it hurts me far more as a result.

Where does our anger come from?
Why does it seem to have such power in my life?
How can it be stopped from extending further?

I get angry with my kids, wife, and co-workers.
at other drivers on the road,
And anyone who seems to affect me directly.

I don't get very angry about the things I cannot control.
Such as the people who die each day,
(Even when I know and love them dearly.)
Nor do I get angry from illness, environmental disasters,
Financial meltdowns, or governmental screw-ups.

No- my anger seems to come most from...
The people & situations which I feel closest to.

Thinking on this more,
it appears to be the areas where I want control in my life,
maybe not over the people around me, but of myself.

These situations represent my unmet expectations & desires,
From not getting what I want.

I want people to know and understand my wants & needs.
And even if they cannot meet them,
atleast not to make it- the situation, more difficult.
It means I have made my own goals most important.

For many years I worked to “understand and help others first”.
But this led me to a type of depression,
where I became second to everyone else,
going for long periods of time without...
being looked after, poured into, and cared for.
And therein lies the draw-back
to being “strong”, and in looking after others, so that…
people dont see me as needing anything.

When I forget to ask for help, 
people dont have the chance to offer.
Yet when have I depended on or expected others to help me in return,
I am often faced with unmet expectations,
as people let me down in what they offer, of fail to meet.

So what do I do now?

First, to Recognize that anger is a plague:
it affects not just me,
but everyone around me too.
so- I dont want to “scratch-it”.

Second, to let people know when I want or need something,
especially if it is different from what they want.
But to do it as part of a conversation.
If I cant discuss it, then it becomes a hidden problem,
ready to fester and grow into a boil waiting to explode.

Third, release people from having to met all my needs, and
realize that it is not my responsibility to meet all theirs.
Only God, through His Son- Jesus Christ, can do this.
Realizing that God will not grant all I desire,
but to ask Him to provide what I need most,
frees me up from worry because He wants me to ask!
God wants to meet our needs, and
He wants to meet the needs of others too.

So Fourth and lastly, it is my responsibility
to remember this in my own life, and
to point others back to God,
for only in Him can we find meaning
when life & people let us down.

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