Saturday, October 25, 2014

New Post: Carrying the Burden of Guilt - Pt 1

I can take responsibility for my past actions.
I can admit to my mistakes.
I recognize the pain my behavior has caused.
But, when is it... enough?

When can we take the heavy bag of guilt we carry,
and set it down?

When do we get to rest?

When will we stop being reminded of what we have done?

First, let me start with something I have learned...
You will never be enough.
You will be enough of a success
You will never make enough money
You can never apologize enough
You can never do enough good things
to make up for past wrongs.

I dont expect everyone to like me,
and because I have a sold foundation built on Christ,
I dont need to have the approval of others, but...

But how do we you live in a world 
where we are constantly reminded 
of the things we have done wrong? 

The Second thing I have learned is this...
You will carry the memory of past wrongs
much longer, 
and closer to your heart,
than anyone else ever can.

Even if the victims of your past can learn to forgive,
the problem is we often struggle to forgive ourselves.
The courts may expunge my record,
my employer may make an exception,
and my friends may stand firmly beside me,
but it is how I think about myself that makes the biggest difference.

We carry the burden much longer than we need or should.

I recognize that somehow
my history has helped to shape me into who I am now
and I am reluctant to re-define myself 
without my past, both good & bad
Yet if I continue to carry that which has defined me for so long
then I am incapable of embracing the someone new I can become.

To end today, I will use an example from history
to help illustrate this important concept:
Letting go of what we have, so we can hold onto something better.

In history, Moses is known as a leader of his people.
But before this, he was known as a child of Pharaoh,
a sheep-herder, and...
a murderer.

And when it was time for Moses to take on a new role,
he argued against it, fought it, but ultimately gave in,
to something bigger and better than he could ever imagine.
He stepped into God's plan for his own life.

So when it came time for the Hebrews to follow Moses,
did they hesitate?
Were they reluctant to let a murderer be their guide?
I believe so.
And, I believe God made the alternative too unbearable:
Staying in Egypt as captives.
Because He knows better than I ever will.

Focusing on what is ahead, I let go of my past,
until next week...

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