- Anger - I have often times looked for instances and sought reasons to release my anger,
- Retaliation - I have endured harsh words and poor treatment by others, then turned their own behavior back on them so they can experience what they have done to others/myself,
- Defensiveness - I have used words and physicality to protect myself.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
New Post: "Honesty about my Faults"
This is a review of how honest I am with my own faults.
When I am honest about my sins, and work to admit those to myself, God, and others, I believe my mind will become more open to His guidance.
Many of the habits I overlook have become justified in my own mind.
I have found times when it seems my behavior could be excusable due to what others have done.
However, this only expands and prolongs the poisonous toxicity of the moment.
In the end, I have not trusted anything or anyone but myself.
After-all, who could stand-up for and protect me when others mistreat me?!?
The answer is God- who will provide more than adequate punishment or discipline for "them".
But have I invited the same for myself when by own behavior lacks?
Or perhaps instead I am not allowing His blessings to unfold in my life when I take "things" into my own hands?
Could I be blocking God's best in my life by using my own words & actions rather than allowing His to be used?
And what about the other people - could my desire to take recourse with them be keeping them from learning what they need from God?
I certainly am not showing His love when I behave this way.
And when it begins, how far do I take it? Or rather, when do I stop?
The afterwards, are apologies enough once the trust has been broken?
Will these 'others' ever feel safe enough around me again?
Or will they always feel they must be careful not to offend me?
Will they avoid me for fear of how I might respond when they do something amiss?
When does Grace appear?
Father God, please give me *pause* to allow more of Your Holy Spirit to guide me in each situation, conversation, and reaction I make.