Saturday, September 19, 2015

Notes From An Interview On 'Adversity' - Part One

Notes From An Interview on 'Adversity' - Part One

In watching your brief video with the story of being incarcerated, it seems like much was left out, and I hear that there is a longer version that may not have been included due to time constraints. The longer bit makes me curious to know more, and how you have handled the troubling problems of life.

Interviewer-Questions(Q): Its seems like you have been through quite a bit. 
With all you have experienced, would you say you have been through more than the fair share of adversity in life?

My Response-Answers(A): No- I think all people go through some level of adversity in their lives, some of which appear more difficult because others hear about it and compare it to their own, then mistakenly believe they couldnt handle that same situation.

Q: You give credit to God for coming through many of these, but couldnt you also blame Him for some parts?
A: Could I? Yes. But would I blame Him? No. God allows me to experience adversity for many reasons, but I wont know or understand most of these until long after they occur.

Q: How would you then explain some of what you have lived with? Did God directly influence the event, or outcome? Or was He perhaps missing all together?
A: During these periods or events, I have had to learn to ask the question; 
Is this meant to test me? 
Is it an attack from Satan? 
Or have I wandered into an area where God is not walking alongside?

Q: Why would God allow you to be 'tested'? Is that His way of seeing if you are worthy of something? And why would a loving God allow someone supernatural to attack you?
A: I cant answer what God sees in my being tested, but I know I learn more about myself in these moments. God also allowed Satan to attack Jesus, so how would I say any attack on me is unfair if He allowed His own child to experience far worse?

Q: That doesnt seem like much of an answer, but more of a deflection. So I will ask it another way... Where is God in these moments? Doesnt it seem like He has abandoned you to the situation?
A: That brings up another question then- has Hes truly abandoned me? Or, is He giving me an option I dont clearly see until I stop and think about it? 

Q: I am not sure if that makes sense- so give me an example.
A: Ok- I drove drunk, so was God there? I believe so. But how far does His protection go when I am walking in the opposite direction?

Q: So, are you saying God abandoned your victims? I mean, He didnt seem to protect them from your actions?
A: Are we so sure? Neither were wearing their seat-belts, and the light-pole they ran into, after my hitting their car, it split their car's ceiling. It could easily have landed on either of their heads, killing them, or paralyzing them instantly for life.

Q: It sounds like you are minimizing the results of what you did. Are you saying their injuries weren't significant? 
A: There were minor-cuts, bruises and contusions, a broken arm for one, and a broken ring-finger. I wont say these are minimal, but I will say they seem smaller than what could have happened- paralysis, or death, and life in prison for me for manslaughter.

Q: So God didnt stop you, and you have lived through the results of making a bad decision. What allows you to sleep when you think about what you did?
A: When I saw the victims in court, I was grateful they were recovered. Then when I was released from prison, I was able to to cooperate so my insurance would cover their medical expenses, and provide for them financially by giving them money for their hardship.

Q: So you think money was enough for them to feel like they were made whole again?
A: No- they both went through pain, the fear during the ride to the hospital, the discomfort of being in a hospital, and the struggle of recovery in physical therapy.

Q: So it sounds like God has given you some peace about this part of your life? What makes that possible?
A: Well first, being able to see them in court and ask their forgiveness, then having the mother and grandmother say they would pray for me during my incarceration. And afterwards- knowing the money would help them, and seeing that they had recovered fully from the injuries I caused.

Q: In this whole process, do you blame the prosecutor and the court for not giving you a fair chance?
A: The laws here dont allow much flexibility for what a judge can do once I am seen as guilty. The only blame I place is on a faulty system that forced the victims to wait for years until they could receive any money from my insurance.

Q: What do you mean the system made them wait? What kept them from receiving any money?
A: My being incarcerated kept them from paying off their medical bills. In fact, it is quite possible the bill-collectors were pressuring them to pay, which increase the stress someone goes through after an event like this.

Q: So do you think what your victims experienced was fair?Did they deserve this to happen to them?
A: I cannot say why it was them who happened to be there, but I would ask if there faith in God is stronger now afterwards. 
Did God provide for them? 
Did He cover all their medical bills? 
Did He allow them to experience adversity, and then carry them through to something better on the other side?
Truly, these questions and answer are between them and God, but He has allowed me to find peace, so I do believe they are better-off afterwards.

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