Saturday, February 20, 2016

New Post: "Uncertain Identity"

The Struggle with our Identity

From birth our identity is ever changing.

We rush forward to appear older, and capable.
Then fight the responsibility that comes along with these new labels.
 (My two year-old wants to be a 'big-boy', 
 but doesnt want to go practice going potty every two-hours!)

Soon other people begin to ascribe us with a label that allows them to identify us;
 Like an athlete, artist, dancer, smart, messy, slow, or stubborn

We may like what they ascribe to us,
 and come to crave their attention.

Or we may not appreciate the way other people label us 
 And we can feel unliked or ashamed of what they say.

But must we accept how they describe us?

Will we fight to reject it?

Maybe strive to find another way in which we are seen?

Or perhaps hide ourselves from any inadequate feeling that results,
 pulling away from the world because we are frightened by what others may say about us.

A False Identity 
One day we learn that the identify someone has given us is wrong, incomplete, or perhaps  we have outgrown it.
It could be age related, like a child, or teenager, student, or unemployed.
And we may chase after a new identity in a job, as married, or a parent.

What happens when we find the new identity we desired 
 comes with attributes we don't want?
A parent becomes a servant. 
A manager becomes a counselor. 
A friend becomes a money lender.

Another example: Unrequited love.
A person Craves acknowledgement, acceptance, understanding, and appreciation.
Chases this by identifying with someone else, Hoping to be identified with them.

The target of affection now has a new identity they may not want,
 They can in turn become fearful, and mean.
While the first could becomes obsessive, or demanding.
No one gets what they want, and as a result each persons identity may suffer.

What part of your identity would make sense to hold onto forever?

How would you like to be seen by others?

Perhaps a rewarding way to be seen is as merciful and kind.

We may think little on the idea of defining "Values" for ourselves,
but I have never heard someone opposed to being identified as - Trustworthy.

What if others would see you as Trustworthy?
Is this something you could work toward,
no matter what previous labels has been attached to you?
Inherent value versus Ascribed value

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