Saturday, July 16, 2016

Archive: "A Lifetime Of Rebellion"


A Lifetime Of Rebellion
Original Post: January 31, 2012

Do you consider yourself a rebellious person?

Too often I find myself in rebellion
to both God & man.
So when I ended up in prison (read about HERE)
it wasnt because I was evil
nor was I ignorant of the state laws
however, I WAS angry,
stubborn,
and in rebellion.

Consider this...
when you find yourself disobeying
a person in authority or rule of the land
do you consider it a lack of trust?

Or do you see it as a sign of faith
in no one and nothing,
beside your own understanding?

If our disobedience could stop here
then maybe it would be simple to overcome
but then we often become bitter,
complaining when other people point out our behavior.

"To celebrate & praise are the opposite of complaining."

Can the people who know you best
lift you up in praise and celebrate what you have done
because they believe in you?
Or do they merely put up with you??

Are you a joyful person?

If the situation you face is less than ‘stellar’
can you still find peace in accepting the outcome?

Or are you overcome with the urge
to loudly object because you are not the ‘star’
receiving the immediate outcome which you desire?

Gods plans for you may take longer
than you can bare to imagine.
His design may mean we need to ‘re-learn’, again
before the lesson is truly part of us.

Wisdom and patience can teach us
that everything we face may not be for our own benefit
but for another who is watching from the sideline.

Is our stubbornness and pride
winning us a prize that will last beyond today,
or is it costing us any chance for a better future?

When I was preparing
for my prison sentence to begin
I resolved not to fight back, or run,
but to accept that which I had earned
and to somehow open myself up to God more.

You know what He did?
He told me early on that if I trusted in Him
He would use me to reach others
not because I was holy, or perfect, or good,
but because I was willing to change
to become the obedient servant He could use.

Gods plan for you
far outweighs anything you can do on your own.
But the rebellion has to end
and instead we must open ourselves
and invite God to use where we are at that moment.

It may simply begin by speaking a kind word,
giving someone a gentle hug,
or wearing a smile in spite of our pain.

Be useful.
Be part of the solution
instead of only rebellion
that puts us at odds with one another.

UPDATE: July 2016
This month marks ten-years since the accident.
Yes- that's 10 years since I drove drunk and injured two women.
I have been re-posting from the archive
and I feel soon that God may call me to end this writing effort.

Has it helped me to write? 
Yes- to give words to the emotional struggle, 
the strife faced being a criminal,
problems from a lack of internal direction,
defiance against God and society.

Has it helped others? 
Perhaps- atleast some have said so.

Is there a long-term effort to be sustained here? 
I dont know; only God knows for sure.



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